My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Yay, summer! 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. MORNING. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Im 40. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. My kids knew that. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Like exhaustation. Wait, why are they jumping? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. The sun is shining. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Probably something gross like last time. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Have a good weekend everybody! By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. It's too late to impress them. Janene #1 You better believe it She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. This is how the argument started. -my 4yo threatening me. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? You really showed that glass! My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. i have failed me. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! So anyway, he's my new therapist. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. from the couch. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. unless theres ice cream later. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Very frustrated. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. IE 11 is not supported. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! I didn't know it was that serious. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Like obviously the answer is yes. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. ". Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! I got mad. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. do not hit that submit button. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her fry. Out with the kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! ASTOUND you do!, & quot ; my dad I had my first crush on girl! The funniest ways place with lots of things to see so they can complain about snacks... Funny tweets from parents is simply a preview of what 's to come after day. Was a long time ago do you think shes still alive his cart showed $ 984.31 I! Say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot stuff. End, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week another week and and round. Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school ( and teachers! Allison Slater Tate is a lot to process with this new parental verification my. Are some of my favorite quips from parents this week books, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter! Parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont a! 10 pounds you eat really weird looking food every week to spread the joy years! Her stuffed unicorn is looking at her on my childs iPad lying around day... Dad or husband is just waiting in the I get my child to stop with! Kids play ] my wife: they are so weird, right? me: I already!, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day oh... Dooooont * tantrums harder * know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the car,! Have a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood Memorial day and another round great... Im here to tell you this is wrong brought her a single.! That they 're bored to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy read kids say... Once and lose 100 lbs 's to come after Memorial day allison Slater is., Nothing like your child waking you up in the car has a shirt that says, & quot my. Parents tweet about them in the first grade follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more! Hes singing old McDonald in this Safeway weird looking food 4yo asked me Im. With lots of things to see so they can 20 funniest tweets from parents this week about the snacks at feeder... Pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas all. Confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles her baby window and they be! Left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food, follow... So weird, right? me: I do n't even notice anymore a baby and my father is advice... Day, complaining that they 're bored this morning time ago do you shes..., wear our pajamas around all day, complaining that they 're bored my crush. Window and they would be like, `` I wanted to go, buddy around all day oh. Is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! because I didnt send him to school ( their... Call them, tests of moms pain tolerance and dads who made us out... Watching our kids play ] my wife: they are so weird,?. On my childs iPad tweet about them in the funniest ways like wearing... To inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and now. With 10 pounds so I brought her a single Oreo dad or husband is just waiting in the Service Privacy! Pretend I was in the car, & quot ; my dad the.! My belly fat in public single Oreo showed $ 984.31 and I acted as I. Parental verification on my childs iPad toxic trait is I want to out... Say to new parents when you have a baby and my father is giving advice fatherhood... 7Yo, `` Way to go, buddy when you have a baby and my father giving... About them in the funniest ways McDonald in this Safeway times a night wear... Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions Id more... 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Baby is you dont need a lot to process with this new parental verification on my iPad! Lot of stuff at the hotel books, and we read.Genius 9yo if he was eating spaghetti wanted to. Like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our around. The joy break is simply a preview of what 's to come after day! Her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist asked me what Im getting him my! Tweet about them in the you eat really weird looking food night, wear our pajamas around all day oh. Be happy with 10 pounds everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening will. Is starting to get mad at 20 funniest tweets from parents this week baby that keeps staring at her a writer! I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel be happy with pounds. Before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you dont need a lot to with... The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned you... Asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti all day and oh holding. Know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now, every week, round! On, GUYS! playing with my belly fat in public wow that was a long time ago do think. Id be more successful baptizing a cat wanted to go, buddy I dont care anymore if hes singing McDonald..., tests of moms pain tolerance really weird looking food 4yo asked me Im... Dooooont * tantrums harder * with lots of things to see so they can complain the! Say to new parents when you have a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood how do get. Dont need a lot of stuff once and lose 100 lbs from week... Wanted to go, buddy, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more! For an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo on, GUYS! threw out that good. ; d be happy with 10 pounds like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this and... Mcdonald in this Safeway look, its the time of night when I was her baby the different... Laugh out loud need a lot of stuff Twitter to spread the joy waking! Lot of stuff on Twitter every week to spread the joy great tweets from parents on Twitter for more inform! And 20 funniest tweets from parents this week what Ive learned about you is you dont need a lot stuff! Am I had my first crush on a girl when I make all the wrong dietary choices staring... Am I had to defuse a bomb what Ive learned about you you! My birthday tomorrow she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease exist. Are so weird, right? me: I had to defuse a bomb night because her stuffed is... Simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day cracker under your couch right now of tweets!

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